Fear is temporary - Regret is forever

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The Candy Store

I met her at a mall in Oklahoma City back in 2016. Her name was Teresa. She is just as beautiful as her name is, more about her later.

It was my weekend off, so I went on a 2-hour road trip to OKC to hang out with my cousin (back then, having the weekend off is rare, as a restaurant server). We decided to go to the movie theater, and also the theater is inside the mall, we can just goof off when the movie is over.

As the movie ended, I went in search of a trashcan when, unexpectedly, a group of four girls passed by. One of them caught my eye and our gaze seemed to linger, creating a timeless moment that sparked curiosity and wonder. I don’t know about you, but I get nervous whenever I see a beautiful lady. I dropped my popcorn and fumbling to retrieve it. Got back up to find her already in the distance, smiling at me. My cousin caught up to me, “There you are!”. Then we go on with our day.

A couple of hours later, my cousin got a pair of new kicks, and I got a T-Shirt. We are heading out of Nike store and walk toward the escalator. As we were going down, I noticed something peculiar - she was still there. I couldn’t help but wonder, why was she standing in front of that candy store?

My gaze locked on to her, causing my head to tilt involuntarily as if it was mounted on a tripod, unable to look away. This had to be the longest escalator ride of my ride. You might be wondering, why didn’t I just go talk to her?

Reaching the ground level and here I was debating whether I should go back up there and talk to her, or do I just go to the car and move on with my life. In my mind, there's a quote I once heard that stuck with me: “You never regret the things you did, you only regret the things you didn't do.”.

That’s when it hit me. I said “F*ck it”, worst case scenario, I get laughed at, then I’ll just go get a big Mac or something.

I sprinted up the escalator, navigated through the bystanders. As I reached the top. She wasn’t there anymore. Where did she go? I dashed into the candy store, and voilà. She is checking out the candies with her friends. She caught sight of me and her expression turned to surprise. I said hi while scratching the back of my head. We introduced ourselves and exchanged Snapchat (back when it was cool). And that’s how I met Teresa.

(Update: We became friends, but nothing serious. I didn’t live in Oklahoma, long distance relationship is tough 🤷, we still keep in touch on social media though)

What am I trying to say by sharing you this story?

In life, you are presented with windows of opportunity. Those windows are small, but your destiny will be defined by how you respond to them.

I’m glad I did what I did. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to go to bed every night with the thought of “WHAT IF”. I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself from not taking my chances. It would haunt me.

Even though things didn't work out between us, that day was a big win for me. It's like a special trophy that I keep to remind myself that I can succeed and feel confident even when things don't go as planned.

The cost of not following your heart, is spending the rest of your life wishing you had

Fear is temporary, Regret is forever.

You will live with the unknown for the rest of your life, because you didn’t want to find out.

Stop making excuses for your own inaction

• Fear of failure

• Fear of rejection

• Worrying about other’s people opinion

Here are 10 phrases to [DELETE] from your memory:

• I don't have enough time.

• I'm not ready yet.

• I don't have the resources.

• I'm too old/young.

• I'm afraid of failure.

• I don't know where to start.

• I have too many responsibilities.

• It's too risky.

• I'm not talented enough.

• I'll do it someday, but not right now.

Here’s a fast and simple way to get over yourself

Ask your self these 3 questions:

• What if I fail?

• What if I succeed?

• What if I never do it, am I okay with living with the unknown for the rest of my life?

In the end, You’ll only regret the chances you didn’t take, the relationships you were afraid to have, the decisions you waited too long to make

Before I go, here are top 10 things that people regret NOT doing in life (from surveying old people)

1. Telling people you love them

2. Spending more time with your parents

3. Travelling more

4. Living the moment, instead of focus too much about the future(I’m guilty of this)

5. Building and maintaining meaningful relationships

6. Pursuing their passion

7. Eating healthy

8. Asking that person out

9. Doing more for others

10. Leaving a legacy

This list hits me hard, as I’m guilty of a lot of these. I hope this is a wake up call for you to take action, to do what you desire, and of course don’t forget the people around you, and how you can impact their lives.

Justin “no ragrets” Nguyen

Thank you for showing up every Thursday and read what I have to say.

You can go on with your day now 😃 

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Appreciate you being part of the journey!